Yesterday, I predicted the government would, indeed, shut down. Whoops! Not yet, anyway. I’ll call that a swing and a miss. (That’s just the risk of writing these things…) MyBaconPress doesn’t exactly regret the error, but certainly it should be noted… and so it is…

In this “stopgap measure,” support for Ukraine has been dropped – so they only passed something that has good hope of harming people. Sheesh! Republicans…

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These days, the MAGA cons are all-in on circumstantial evidence. They have to be. It’s all they have, really. So, Hunter Biden knows a guy who talked to a guy who did something wrong, meaning JOE Biden is guilty as hell. They just KNOW it. But circumstantial cases, alone, are bad law. One takes a series of possibly unrelated (and, often, untrue) facts and/or information, mashes them together into a tableau, then reaches an unsubstantiated conclusion.

These days, Republicans aren’t too concerned about the holes in their circumstantial cases. Since THEY make up the cases and the cases are all (obviously) against Democrats, Republicans don’t see any problem. If a circumstantial case is all they’ve got, they’ll run with it. Now, explaining the problems with circumstantial cases to a Republican won’t stop them. They’ll simply choose to not believe any information offered them on the topic from their “opponent.” (read: “Fellow Americans…”)

So, today, I thought I’d make one up against their favorite guy. Fortunately, on our side, we don’t have to rely on circumstantial evidence since we have SO MUCH of the real, verifiable stuff on hand. But we could. Now, please note: I don’t want to be sued for defamation, here, so it’s important to note that I have NO legal evidence supporting the conclusion I’m about to draw. While the individual elements are true and correct, they do NOT support my conclusion. They’re circumstantial, and that’s the point. But the key? I’m making this up. So…here we go…

Donald J. Trump should be locked up for molesting Ivanka Trump, starting when she was about 12 years old! (Shocking, right?)

The first block in my “wall of assumed guilt” is that Donald Trump (among others, of course) was a known friend of proven child molester Jeffery Epstein. Trump and Epstein liked to party together and Epstein, infamously, liked the “underage women.”

The second point. Trump has bragged, publicly, about walking in on beauty contestants in various states of undress during competitions. His comments were about the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants in which the contestants are adults, as though that, somehow, makes it less of a violation. But in 2016, Buzzfeed reported that Trump also walked in on underage women (15- and 16-year-olds) changing clothes in his Miss Teen USA pageant. Reportedly, one of the young ladies “mentioned the incident” (complained?) to Ivanka, whose reported reply was, “Yeah, he does that.”

Point three. When the ‘Access Hollywood’ tape dropped, I actually defended Trump in these pages. I genuinely thought it was locker-room braggadocio. My problem? I have actual regard for women. I simply could not put my arms around the idea that anybody might treat somebody – even a woman – with such disregard. Then we learned about E. Jean Carroll and, suddenly, ‘Access Hollywood’ wasn’t just hot air, it was an actual confession. Now the only question is, how many other women did he disrespect that way, just because “stars” get to “Unfortunately… or fortunately…”

Four: Of course, E. Jean Carroll. A court of law has now held him responsible – twice! – for exactly the sexual assault he described enjoying – and labeled him a rapist. The ruling suggests that Donald Trump sees women merely as sexual playthings, only on the Earth for his personal amusement.

Five: Trump is not a guy to deny himself any passing whim. If he wants to grab a woman inappropriately, he WILL grab a woman inappropriately. He does not deny himself any pleasure, any desire. He sees it as his “right,” being rich, or a “star.” If Donald Trump wants something, he doesn’t say “no” to himself – ever! And do you know what Donald Trump has always wanted?

Six: Donald Trump has stated, publicly and more times than people can count, that he wants to have sex with Ivanka, how great it would be to “date” his daughter. He’s been making this little “joke” since she was quite young, definitely one of those “underage women” he likes so much…

Point Seven: Trump’s second wife, Marla Maples, served out her sentence (I mean ‘stayed married long enough to satisfy the prenup.’ Even then, she only walked away with two million dollars…) Then, she took her daughter and ran. Ivanka was about 12 when Tiffany was born. Maybe Marla had noticed that Ivanka had already caught daddy’s eye…

ALL of this suggests (but, notably, doesn’t “prove”) that Donald J. Trump should definitely be locked up for molesting Ivanka Trump, starting when she was about 12 years old!

So there you go. My seven point (but fraudulent) case that I just made up by mashing together a series of seemingly related events to suggest that Donald Trump molested Ivanka, possibly starting about the time Ivanka was 12. Remember, my conclusion is NOT warranted according to the rules of evidence but works QUITE well according to the rule of “look what I can make up!” I say again, for clarity, I do NOT say my made-up conclusion actually happened, even though we know the supporting points all did happen. My ONLY GOAL, here, is to show why it’s a bad idea to press circumstantial cases because one thing IS true: two can play at that game.

I’ll tell you this: This is a dangerous post. Someone could take my “case” out of context without my knowledge or permission and re-post the incriminating parts as real, making Trump look very bad. I wouldn’t want that to happen. I think some MAGA con should defend Trump to make sure they’re on the record. But how do they do that? Even if a MAGA con can dismantle my “case,” point by point, I can be just as stubborn and wrongheaded as any MAGA con so, sooner or later, they will be forced to demand proof – actual evidence, which, obviously, I don’t have. But when you do, you’ll be proving to the world you know the difference between circumstantial evidence and direct evidence…