“Couples Store Living Babies In Freezer In Mobile Infirmary Medical Center!” WOW! Who among us ever thought we’d see a headline like that? Fortunately, nobody. Oh, and nobody ever has, either. (Except lucky, lucky you, who just read it here…) I’m happy to report, I made it up. Kind of.
“Uh, would you stop?”
“Yeah, okay.”
See, in Alabama the state Supreme Court has ruled that fertilized IVF embryos are actually living, breathing children with all associated rights and privileges.

The case began when some slaphead (who didn’t work in the facility) mishandled some of the containers and dropped them, “killing” the embryos inside. Now, I have no wish to make fun of the potential parents who lost their embryos. Their loss is irreplaceable and I know, for a fact, IVF is commonly the very LAST chance a couple gets to have a child. Certainly, I think the facility should be on some kind of legal hook for allowing said slaphead to gain access to the embryos in the first place. But murder?

It turns out that it’s a God thing. Instead of the Constitutional separation of church and state, the Alabama Court made a ruling based on what they hope their invisible super friend wants. I’ve noticed that the correlation between what a person, personally, wants and what they think the invisible cloud being wants is stunningly high. It’s like, their god always wants exactly what they want. Amazing…

I think this ruling has a LOT of details to work out and define. For example, shouldn’t the people who store babies in freezers be charged with a crime? Freezers are commonly bad for babies yet Alabamans are putting them in there with wanton disregard for their safety. Hey, what if a couple falls on hard times and can no longer pay the fee a company charges to store their babies in freezers? It seems to me, the company is now on the hook to maintain the “babies” in perpetuity or commit murder, most foul.

But it’s not all bad. How about THIS very clever idea I just had: can we, then, freeze a bunch of now-babies? (Without paying the fees, of course. That cost would offset my brilliant plan.) Then, we claim each and every one of our frozen “babies” as dependent children on our taxes! “Yep, 35 kids. Whaddya gonna do? I love my family! ‘Nother tax credit, please.”

In my experience, when one starts at stupid, one ends up at MORE stupid…

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Remember those “shoes” Donny sold? It turns out, they’re not shoes. Well, not yet, anyway. He had something like three actual pairs made. The rest – he sold 1,000 pair – are being made on a pre-order, drop ship basis. It has been reported that one can obtain the exact same shoes, without the gaudy matching gold ‘T’ for $19.95 on the web. I feel certain an evil schemer like Donny wouldn’t just buy some of those super-cheap-ass, twenty dollar shoes, add a ‘T,’ and pump the price up to $400, right?

MAGA paid their money today. They might get their shoes starting in around June of this year. You know, maybe. The most important part of the fine print on the transaction? No refunds. Whatever you get, you get. Thanks for the money, suckers.

Oh, one thing. I had written he was selling them for up to $300 dollars/pair. Turns out, that was wrong. It’s $400.00/pair. He pre-sold them all. That comes to roughly $400,000, less expenses. He DID give one pair away, though. He auctioned it off. Do you know who won that pair? A Russian oligarch! Russians, Russians, Russians…

You know, for a guy who insists he has nothing to do with Russians and that Russians have nothing to do with him, he sure is surrounded by a lot of Russians…

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Oh, and on the topic of Russians, the entire GOP seems to be obligating themselves to Putin and the Russian oligarchy. It seems the GOP, particularly MAGAGOPCORP were using Russian misinformation in their trumped up effort the impeach Joe Biden. Smear-mongers like Jim Jordan and James Comer were all over the conservative media insisting they had the goods on Biden. It was, they promised, very good stuff. They had exactly what they needed to prove Joe Biden took bribes. It all came, we were told from a very dependable, proven FBI informant.

And then, this “very dependable, proven FBI informant” was arrested for lying to the FBI and providing false information, originally provided by Russian intelligence services. It turns out, for good intelligence work, when one receives information from such a potentially undependable source, one seeks confirmation before acting on said information. But what does MAGA know about good intelligence work? (Or any intelligence, for that matter?)

They took the initial information and ran with it. The FBI had not confirmed the information. MAGA made no effort to verify anything in the “report.” Too risky. If there was even a possibility the information might not be true, they didn’t want to know. They should have, though. Now they just look dumber than they normally do. THAT, in and of itself, is quite the feat.

“Fear, not, evil minions,” Jim Jordan says, “we’re going to move forward with the impeachment anyway! We still have LOTS of ‘evidence’ (-ish) and we’re sure gonna use it. Oh, we’re gonna get this guy. Yeah. Lots of evidence. And we’ll show it to you, too. Eventually. Maybe. It is TOO real. Tell you what, we’ll hold this football and you come running up and kick it!” You don’t suppose they’re going to snatch it away at the last second again, do you?