Donny was giving a speech at a rally in Greensboro, NC. Here’s a quote. Well, as nearly as I can spell it, here’s a quote, “We’re a nation that just recently heard that Saudi Arabia and Russia will ree… pee… too… ahhh.” Then he just…blanked out for a moment. No, it wasn’t a Moscow Mitch blank. Nobody needed to bump his head to get him started again. (Although they MAY have some wireless electrodes hooked up to some sensitive part of his body so they can zap him, should the need arise – as it did.)

Look, I get it. He’s under a LOT of pressure right now, right? He’s facing 91 Felony charges and doesn’t want to go to jail. He’s trying to manage his lawyers so he can stay out of jail. He’s trying to regain the White House so he can stay out of jail. He’s got to activate his ideologue, sycho-fanatic “judges” so he can stay out of jail. I mean, that’s a LOT of trying to stay out of jail.

In addition, there have long been whispers – and now reports from the White House pharmacy – that Trump takes a LOT of pills. They’re all prescription so he can honestly tell his fawning admirers he doesn’t use “illegal” drugs, but when you have access to the pharmaceutical stuff, who would? Word is, he likes Adderall. Adderall is a brand name medication that treats ADHD. It’s speed, all dressed up official and pretty. MyBaconPress can neither confirm nor disprove the rumors. We don’t have access to the records and he’s a lying son-of-a-bitch.

It remains true: Every conservative accusation is a confession. They’ve been attacking Joe Biden over his gaffes since the race began – back in 2019. (Or 2018, or 17, or even 16. It’s like these things never end…) Of COURSE “Biden seems impaired” is their battle cry. THEIR guy is clearly impaired! They HOPE, that by pointing and screaming and shouting and spittling at Biden, people won’t notice that Donny seems FAR worse. Oh, we’ve noticed.

“Biden is impaired” is dogma, now, in conservative circles so I imagine that any cons who tuned in to the State of the Union address were expecting a train-wreck of a speech. They didn’t get THAT, though, did they? Old Sleepy Joe did really quite well. At least some of the scheme of the cons was to try to rattle the old guy. They tried. He didn’t rattle.

In fact, he took on several of their pet peeves, directly. My favorite part, though, was when he scolded the Kangaroos right to their stupid, ideological faces. Except for Clarence Thomas, of course. He wasn’t there. I heard he was out collecting some bribes but, again, I can’t confirm that. It was probably just cowardice.

So, according to MY scorecard in the ‘Battle of the Brain-Farts,’ Biden is winning with the fewest number of serious gaffes. But the media, left AND right, simply will not stop with the “Biden is old” bit. Yeah, he’s old. So is Donny. Biden moves like an old man. So does Donny. I don’t like when Joe tries to run out on stage but I like Donny’s dual handjob dance even less. The primary difference? Biden is doing a very good job running the country. Donny crashed the economy worse than any President in history and killed more Americans than any other President in history, leaving a trail of damage and wreckage in his wake.

No, cons don’t know that. THEY think (or pretend) they live in a Hellscape of destitution and ruin. All they have to do is look outside and… well, no. All they have to do is look at the numbers and they get… um, no. All they have to do is check their day to day lives and then they have…dammit! Okay, all they have to do is tune in to their favorite, lying, talking head and they get all the confirmation they crave.

So, what? You’re not going to vote for Joe because he’s old? Then you can’t vote for Donny either. He’s old, too. Joe just doesn’t inspire you? Donny does? Joe might have a “senior moment?” Donny is having them right out in public, for all the world to see. The only thing Donny does better than Biden is crime.

But listen, nobody voted FOR Biden, before. We ALL voted against Trump. Do that. Vote against Trump. Yes, Biden is doing a very good job and has earned your vote but if you just can’t, at least vote Biden to block. It’s the American thing to do…

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Don’t forget to turn your clocks tonight. Forward. Spring forward. The whole point, it seems, is to sow chaos and confusion into people’s lives. The primary thing the time changes accomplish is disrupting people’s rhythms. It causes heart attacks and car accidents and, for a while, sloppy thinking. It doesn’t benefit anybody in any way. By all means, let’s just keep doing this oh-so-stupid thing…