Secrets of ‘Big Hammer’?


I saw this on the internet.  I have to tell you, I’m convinced.  But it got me to wondering: who would have an interest in squelching such important and relevant information?  At first, I thought it might be ‘Big Hammer’ but, no.  If revealed, information like this would spur hammer sales so, if anything, Big Hammer would want this information out there, spread as far and wide as possible so…no, not Big Hammer…

When it hit, it hit HARD: it must be the Government, right?  I mean, who else?  Imagine the hue and cry if people were to realize the fraud, waste, and abuse that went into this particular government choice.  Consider: some…moron (what other word can be used) armed our Marines with guns – when they could have just as easily acquired the far more deadly hammers!  GUNS!  Can you believe it?  Guns sometimes jam and require a regular and constant infusion of cash in the form of ammunition.  Imagine the egg on their face…

But then I got to thinking; it’s bigger than just covering up an error.  It’s a matter of social control!  Imagine if word got around about how much more lethal hammers are than guns.  That Vegas shooter actually had a hammer with him, did you know that?  The fool only used it to break out the windows in his hotel room.  Then, he put the hammer down and opted, instead, for the clearly less effective modified semi-automatic weapons.  Can you imagine the difference in the body count if he had thrown HAMMERS from his thirty-second floor window at the concert-goers?  I can only guess but, clearly, based on the above meme, it would have been vastly different…

THEN, my mind being what it is, I realized that the revelation contained in this meme is a tremendous recommendation for removing guns from our society completely.  Who, after all, would want to rely on a stupid old gun when you could grab a hammer?

And…hammers are everywhere, man!

Imagine waking up late at night to the sound of breaking glass.  You grab your Glock 19 and quietly make your way to the living room.  As you move around the corner you realize – TOO LATE – your mistake: the burglar…brought a hammer.  You’re stuck with a Glock.  OMG!  You brought a gun to a hammer fight!


So I’m glad the truth has finally been revealed.  Which should be banned?!?  Well, it would have to be that impractical, nearly useless gun, right?  Clearly we, the people want to keep the most effective self-protection option available and, statistically (according to the meme), that option is the hammer!

2 thoughts on “Secrets of ‘Big Hammer’?

  1. Be very careful Mark. We have a nephew that has quite a hard-on for the guns vs hammers debate. Interestingly, when he makes the argument using the numbers from the meme, ( because that’s where all legitimate information is found these days, right?) he feels the argument is made for banning hammers. Which….in a way, completely agrees with your deduction that, based on the basic numbers in the meme, hammers ARE more dangerous than guns. Therefore, I would suggest we confiscate guns and arm our fellow citizens with hammers….for their own good. (In one of my discussions with said nephew, I also made comment that I wished the Las Vegas shooter had thrown deadly hammers at the crowd of innocent people instead of using his guns…nephew was not amused and assumed I didn’t understand his analogy. Nephew might be a little slow on the uptake.) Do you think our elected officials will ever grow big enough balls to face this issue head on, address the real problem; not mental health, not unarmed “good” citizens, not “a few bad apples”—but inadequate gun control laws and semi-automatic weapons? I honestly don’t know. I don’t have very much faith in politicians doing the right thing when staring down the barrel of the kind of money the gun lobby has to offer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Staring down the barrel… I see what you did, there…

      I’m not actually anti-gun. Mostly, I just think it’s a stupid meme. Worse, it’s bad math. In order to make that work, they used ALL hammer types AND threw in “clubs” on the hammer side but included ONLY AR-15 rifles. The numbers would be very different if the left side was just “guns” in the way the right side is “hammers”…


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