Sometimes, just when a person thinks they have likely plumbed the depths of conservative stupidity, they decide to have a “hold my beer” moment, also known as a BTO moment because “B-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nothing yet!” (Note: you have to be an “old” to get the reference…) Now, having just seemingly leveled an insult at a huge swath of the American public, I need to clarify something. I have an ongoing debate with a friend of mine. He says, flatly, that all conservatives are stupid. I disagree, and I have to disagree. I am personally friends and/or acquaintances with a number of very intelligent people who, nevertheless, identify as conservatives. (A couple as MAGA cons. We mostly don’t talk politics…) So, individually, people are people. But as a group? As a group, it seems conservatives have some committee out there somewhere dictating today’s newest, stupid thing. Earlier today, on a radio program, I was treated to some eye-opening information that makes me want to award some kind of prize for their newest, stupidest thing.

It’s no secret that the conservative rank and file have been conditioned to believe they’re fighting some kind of culture war. The quick summary is that the cons tend to take contrary positions on everything. EVERYTHING! It doesn’t matter what the subject is. If rational people support a position, the self-appointed “culture warriors” MUST dispute that position. This leads them to say, out loud, very stupid things. (I’ve realized they don’t care about looking stupid because they’ll only look that way to most people, not their target audience: other cons.) Bear in mind, though, I used the word “believe.” The rank and file, for sure, truly believe their own rhetoric. I had suspected (maybe hoped?) that might not be true but then I heard about this:

The cons in the House have a committee looking into the “question” of bias against conservatives in government – an actual committee, doing an actual investigation. Bias against conservatives – anywhere and at all times – is one of the pieces of their overall angst portfolio. They’re calling it the “weaponization of government” committee. It’s chair? Why, none other than Jim Jordan, from Ohio. (Oh, did I need to mention he’s a Republican? No, I thought not…) As usual, the cons are displaying impeccable timing. They’re out howling at the “unfairness” on constant display to their eyes (and their eyes only) even as everyone realizes that the whole John Durham/Bill Barr “investigation” bit was a fiasco of government weaponization. Once again, they find themselves caught red-handed doing the thing they accuse their opponents of doing. Bravo! (I’ll have to eat crow if they decided to investigate the Durham/Barr bunk…but my guess is, I’m safe…)

See, when thinking people hear some old, shriveled, fat and stupid con suggest shoving a black light up your bum or drinking bleach to kill Covid, the conversation IS met with derision – as it should be. So, no, we’re not going to buy into the position just because you said it out loud. As it happens, your opinion is NOT “just as good as my facts.” Like it or not, my facts are better. Ignoring them won’t make them go away, either, any more than SHOUTING yours won’t make them any more true.

But to form a committee? Just to examine their own rhetoric? Look, it didn’t take long for most thinking people to realize that Trump wasn’t just a blowhard. He’s a blowhard engaging in various nefarious activities that should, by rights, be investigated. To a con, investigating the potential crimes of the former guy isn’t just police work. It’s a “witch hunt!” Oh my gods, thar be witches here? How thoroughly scary! Some of it was Q-anonsense conspiracy theory. Some of it was defensive, trying to protect Former from the fallout of his alleged illegal activities. The Q-anons will believe anything so long as they think it “owns a lib.” Hell, that’s half the fun. The political pundits deploying political defenses surely know they’ve grabbed some information from straight out of their…um…imaginations.

But, whether they believed it when they said it or they were just posing, they seem to believe it all now – and they ARE, BY GOD, going to “investigate.” NOW is their chance to prove, once and for all, that everyone is just picking on poor little them. Form a committee. And they did. I think we’re supposed to think these are very serious people looking into a very serious situation. Since they’re already convinced of their own victim status, I’d bet they’ll find something, too. Probably, nobody else will care, seeing how stupid they’re acting.

But I’ll tell you this: I hope they keep it up. This committee should “investigate” every stupid story ever told from “innocent trumpery” to boogiemen under children’s beds. The investigations should be in-depth. They should look deeply into every detail of every possible issue – even as they make ’em up. They should spend every waking second of the next two years “investigating” all their self-pity and torment. It’s better than risking them actually trying to accomplish something…