I keep seeing stories saying Matthew McConaughey is going to run for governor of Texas. I have nothing against Mr. McConaughey. He seems like a smart, well-informed guy. But…he IS an actor. One would think, after the debacle that was the CheetoJesus, most Americans would be over the, “Hey, let’s elect someone who hasn’t got a clue!” trend. What other job do you hire for based on the notion that the prospective candidate has never done it – or anything LIKE it? On the job training as Governor of Texas seems like a risky ploy at best. In fairness, the last few governors of Texas have SEEMED like they had no clue about how to govern, either, so maybe Matthew’s lack of experience won’t matter.

Here in California, we have our own gubernatorial problems. No, despite what the cons say, the problem is not Newsom. In fact, I would say the problem IS the cons. They managed, in the conservative corners of the state, to get a recall on the ballot because the bar to initiate a recall is so low. As we already know, the conservatives KNOW they can’t win with ideas so they’ve turned to cheating in every way possible. Technically, initiating a recall isn’t cheating. It’s more of an attempted “work-around.” It’s also a waste of time and money.

Even if a con wins, he or she won’t have time to actually DO anything – particularly with a Democratic controlled legislature. It will be a less-than-one year posting. Then? A whole new election takes place. So I’m not sure I see the point beyond being able to claim they did it. They MAY be able to stop something here and there but even that’s not likely. Hell, they won’t even have time to engage in their favorite pastime, harming defenseless people.

Everyone assumes Gavin has his eye on the Oval Office. He has been a steady political climber going way back. (OMG, he has…experience? The horror!) THAT is probably the biggest reason to move forward with this waste of resources, the potential harm it might do to Gavin Newsom’s political future. (It won’t.) My prediction is that Gavin is going to survive the recall attempt. Rational people know that the Covid-19 response was a top-down fiasco. When CheetoJesus so completely mismanaged…well, the country, really, but the initial pandemic, most governors had to scramble and create programs as they went. There was some confusion. Things didn’t go as well as they should have, could have, or even did in the past. Most people recognize that as a breakdown of leadership from the Dumbass, not from Newsom.

Truthfully, I think the cons blew this one. EVERYONE was angry at Gavin’s French Laundry error. His own party might have voted him out, given the chance. But with the cons running around this once-great nation undermining elections and the process and doing everything they can to distort reality, people were forced to re-think their positions on Newsom. In truth, I think the cons did Newsom a great favor. The recall-without-basis effort put the French Laundry misstep into perspective. Yeah, sure, it was stupid – arrogant, even. Rich people being rich people. But when forced to confront the alternatives, maybe not so bad, after all. I wrote at the time that it was going to be an expensive mistake and now we’re looking at a possible 400 million dollar expenditure for a recall election to remove him one year early. (He CAN run again in the next, normal Gubernatorial race.) But I’m laying the wasted money at the feet of the cons. There was no need for this.

If YOU want to be governor and you’re an American citizen who has NOT completed two full terms as California Governor and who has never been convicted of offering or accepting bribes or embezzlement, all you have to do is pay the $3,916.12 filing fee and – voila! – you’re on the ballot. The tricky part will be getting the most votes. That part is up to you.

The field is still fleshing out but so far, the cons who want to get in the easy way consist of the former Mayor of San Diego, Kevin Faulconer – buddies with pseudo-GOP trumpster Kevin McCarthy. I’m sure the trump connection will serve him well in California.

Also on offer? Businessman John Cox, the guy Newsom beat (destroyed, really) in the last race. Conservatives still think a businessman (emphasis on “man”) is the best person for the job because both business and governing use the words “fiscal” and “budget” so, as far as conservatives are concerned, both jobs are exactly the same! Smart people know they are not the same. He has run for – and LOST – a LOT of offices both nationally and in California. THIS time around he’s using a caged or tethered live bear as a political prop. I MIGHT give him a sympathy vote if the bear attacks him. (No. Really, I’d applaud the bear…)

There’s also a businessman named Doug Ose running. He served in the House of Representatives during the Bush 43 maladministration so at least he has some political experience which, by definition, disqualifies him among the conservative base AND exposes him as a far-right con to everyone else.

Also able to pony up $4,000 – Caitlyn Jenner is running. No. Nobody asked her to. Caitlyn Jenner is a transsexual woman who has come out publicly AGAINST transsexual issues. She’s not likely to garner support from the transsexual crowd if she stands against them. She’s not likely to garner support from mainstream conservatives BECAUSE of her transsexual status, convinced as they are that she only did it so she could go into women’s restrooms, and she’s not likely to garner support from thinking Californians because we already know her to be a bat-shit crazy trumpster. On the up side, California has $4,000 dollars it didn’t have before…

I’ll be voting ‘no’ on the recall. But the second half of the ballot requires the voter to choose who should succeed Newsom should he be recalled. I hope you’ll join me in casting YOUR ballot for retired porn actress Mary Carey.

A photo of Mary Carey

No, I’ve never seen her work. She last ran for Governor in 2003, when Gray Davis was being recalled. She apparently has a plan to address ALL of California’s “hot-button” issues. She wants to tax breast implants (which, presumably, would cost her a LOT of money) but make lap dances tax deductible. (I confess, I’m not clear on exactly WHO gets the deduction.) She wants to create a “porn-for-pistols” program in an effort to fight gun violence. She wants to let bars stay open until 4 am. She wants to make people receiving unemployment checks do jury duty for their “pay.” She also wants to stand up to John Ashcroft’s attacks on the porn industry AND she wants to address the AIDS epidemic. Yeah, it’s a little difficult getting up-to-the-minute details on some of her…um…positions.

I’ll tell you this: I don’t think she’s qualified and even SHE acknowledges the recall is a waste of time and resources but if Californians are going to get screwed in this thing at least it will be by someone who knows what she’s doing…

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